500th Post Giveaway – Mental Health Update!!

After my last blog post I received a message congratulating me for my 500th post. WOW!!! I am so excited and want to celebrate with you all. I am having a Giveaway!!

This small package will be sent to one of my Followers. (I feel Famous, lol). All You have to do is:

  • Follow me here or on any of my Social Media Accounts: Instagram Facebook Etsy  The more places the more Entries
  • Leave a Comment – here or on any of my Social Media Accounts
  • optional- Tag your Friends – Hint Hint I might choose to also send them a little something. 🙂
  • Share giveaway posts for 5 additional entries.

This is sponsored by yours truly, no agency is associated with this.

For every 20 additional followers I will add to the package 🙂 🙂 I am feeling generous.

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Giveaway Ends on August 30th Winner to be announced on Instagram on October 1st. good luck everyone.

Crafty post ends here! Mental Health update follows.

Mental Health Update:

Where to start with my update. Boy have I been on a roller coaster ride. Life has not been easy. Depression comes and goes for me in VERY strong waves. I can literally loose myself in sadness, doom, devastation, and memories. The OCD clutters my brain with VERY negative thoughts. I fixate on sadness and allow myself to go so into deep depressive episodes, My future gets blurry. The worst part is that I rarely realize that I am allowing MDD, OCD, Panic, and Anxiety “drive the bus”. I need to take control and that is something that I am working on.

Recently, I started to see a psychologist that has been my savior. I learn so many skills while in session and I am able to turn around and use them in my every day life. I’ve allowed someone else to drive the bus for way too long. “my Brain”  I am working very hard to recognize the warning signs.  I’m on the right medication “for now”, and looking forward to the future.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder:

I’ve been doing behavioral modification therapy. This has been so useful, painful, but useful. I’ve been exposed to some of my fears and it feels so rewarding to be able to do things I hadn’t done in years. My world was closing in and I was very scared of the future. Actually, I did not see a future. I couldn’t remember the past I was loosing myself, now I can get thru therapy sessions without dying. Who knew I was capable of eating a banana without cleaning it or washing my hands. That is such a WIN!!!.

So much work to be done I have OCD rituals like they were on sale. I allowed behaviors to become routine and now it is painful to reverse the damages. I still have a lot of kitchen issues but I am now eating. My diet consisted of coca-cola and packaged food. I have started to eat healthier foods. My psychiatrist is very holistic and asked me to stop eating Milk, Cheese, Meat, and Eggs. Well everything is made with at least one of those ingredients, if I followed that strict diet I would starve. I  am implementing some of the “suggestions”, I switched to Almond Milk , I rarely eat meat or eggs, and I will NEVER give up cheese. I did start to loose weight but, I attribute that to actually eating food. What a concept!!

I’m attempting to make smarter choices, as mine were obviously affecting hubby, kids, siblings, customer service, waiters and so forth. I can be a beast!!! I am now much tamer. LOL!!

WARNING: Read at your own discretion foul language used ahead

Attitude, Anger, Fear and Emotions:

Unfortunately,  when “Shit” hits the fan I’m cycling thru emotions like a teenager. However, the length of hitting rock bottom is now shorter.I’m able to use my newly found skills to get out of the funk much faster. This is impressive and a massive WIN. Previously a “Funk” could last months, now I will waddle in my tears and then get up and feel better.

Sadly, I’ve seen that as I work on certain areas or emotions, other emotions scoot into the empty spot, I started to notice an increase in other very unfortunate emotions.  Mental health is a BITCH, when it rears it’s head, it is scary. My thoughts can be aggressive. irrational, and usually unwarranted.

I fear snapping. (Example: old lady at thrift shop reaches over me) I very irrationally want to punch her, throw her on the floor, and beat the shit out of her. I warned you that the thoughts can be scary. These thoughts can also be obsessive, not thoughts of doing it but I run the scenario over, and over, and over, and over. OBSESSIVE!!!

WOW have I let it all out. I am now an open book.  I have said in the past I just can’t hang on to all these emotions and obsessions. I must mute them and move on. Easier said than done.

Well thank you so much for stopping by.

 

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